Sympathy vs. Opinion: Should Lily empathize with Ava or offer perspective?

By EpictetusRelationships & Social Skills2 min readGrade 8.2
Classroom
Intermediate

Overview

If a friend is upset about losing a game, instead of feeling sad for them, a child can remind themselves that their friend's feelings are based on their thoughts about losing, and they can offer support without becoming upset themselves.

The Choice

Should Lily empathize with Ava or offer perspective?

Quick Stats

Grade Band
Grades 6-8
Reading Level
Level 8.2
Word Count
311 words
Published
Jun 7, 2025

The Dilemma

Lily and Ava have been inseparable since the third grade, always pushing each other to try new things. After a tough match, Ava is visibly upset because she missed a crucial penalty kick that could have won them the game. As they walk home, Ava expresses her frustration, saying she feels like she let the whole team down. Lily, who also feels disappointed about the loss, notices that Ava's mood is affecting her own. She remembers a lesson from her philosophy class about how people's feelings often stem from their opinions about events rather than the events themselves. Lily Something has to give.

Values in Tension

This dilemma explores the tension between two important values:

Compassion
vs
Loyalty

Consider how these values might conflict or complement each other in this situation.

Your Options

A

Empathize with Ava's disappointment.

B

Offer Ava a different perspective.

Questions for Reflection

Take a moment to consider these questions. There are no "right" answers – the goal is to explore different perspectives and develop your own reasoning.

  1. 1

    What would you do, and why?

  2. 2

    Why might Ava feel like she let the team down?

  3. 3

    How can Lily support Ava without feeling upset herself?

  4. 4

    How might Epictetus advise Lily in this situation?

  5. 5

    Can you recall a time in your own life when you faced a somewhat similar choice or feeling? What did you do?

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Philosophical Perspective

Insights from Epictetus

Take a moment to form your own thoughts first, then click to explore philosophical perspectives.

Related Topics

empathy
friendship
emotional-intelligence
Portrait of Epictetus

Epictetusc. 50-c. 135

Epictetus (c. 50 – c. 135 AD) was a prominent Stoic philosopher who began life as a slave in Phrygia. After gaining freedom, he taught philosophy in Rome and later established a renowned school in Nicopolis. Though he wrote nothing, his teachings, recorded …

Stoicism
The Dichotomy of Control (what is in our power vs. what is not)
Prohairesis (Moral Choice/Volition) and the Correct Use of Impressions
Explore how Epictetus informs this dilemma and discover additional ethical puzzles shaped by their ideas.
Learn more about Epictetus or continue exploring dilemmas inspired by their philosophy.

Lesson Plans

Quick Fire5 min

Sympathy vs. Opinion — 5-10 minutes

Learning objectives:

  • -Identify the core ethical tension
  • -Make a quick, reasoned choice

Discussion prompts:

  • 1.Which option did you choose, and why?
  • 2.What would you give up with each choice?
participation
Standard15 min

Sympathy vs. Opinion — 15-20 minutes

Learning objectives:

  • -Identify competing values
  • -Articulate trade-offs

Discussion prompts:

  • 1.What would you lose by choosing each option?
  • 2.Is there a third path?
participation