All Dilemmas

Acting with Decency and Patience: Should Clara join her friends or stay loyal to Chen?

By Epictetus•Technology Ethics•2 min read•Grade 9.8
Classroom
Intermediate

Overview

Imagine a child waiting for their turn at a game. Instead of pushing ahead or getting upset if they don’t get to play right away, they learn to wait patiently and enjoy the fun when it’s finally their turn.

The Choice

Should Clara join her friends or stay loyal to Chen?

Quick Stats

Grade Band
Grades 6-8
Reading Level
Level 9.827492422154865
Word Count
382 words
Published
Mar 23, 2026

The Dilemma

Clara and Chen are at a school carnival, excited to try a popular new game. The line is long, and Clara notices a group of friends ahead who offer to let her cut in with them. Chen, standing beside her, suggests they wait their turn, reminding her of the fairness to others who have been waiting patiently. Clara feels the pressure to join her friends, but she also values fairness and patience. As the line inches forward, she sees others waiting just as eagerly, some even younger than her. Clara now faces a choice: (A) accept her friends' offer and join them, because maintaining those friendships matters, or (B) stay in line with Chen, because being fair to everyone waiting is more important than a shortcut.

Values in Tension

This dilemma explores the tension between two important values:

Fairness
vs
Autonomy

Consider how these values might conflict or complement each other in this situation.

Your Options

A

Accept her friends' offer and join them, because maintaining those friendships matters and the opportunity is right there

B

Stay in line with Chen, because being fair to the people who have been waiting is more important than a shortcut

Questions for Reflection

Take a moment to consider these questions. There are no "right" answers – the goal is to explore different perspectives and develop your own reasoning.

  1. 1

    What would you do, and why?

  2. 2

    How does the principle of patience apply here?

  3. 3

    What are the consequences of each choice?

  4. 4

    How might Epictetus advise Clara here?

  5. 5

    Turn & tell: What would our class consider the proper action here, and why?

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Philosophical Perspective

Insights from Epictetus

Take a moment to form your own thoughts first, then click to explore philosophical perspectives.

Related Topics

fairness
peer-pressure
patience
Portrait of Epictetus

Epictetusc. 50-c. 135

Epictetus (c. 50 – c. 135 AD) was a prominent Stoic philosopher who began life as a slave in Phrygia. After gaining freedom, he taught philosophy in Rome and later established a renowned school in Nicopolis. Though he wrote nothing, his teachings, recorded …

Stoicism
The Dichotomy of Control (what is in our power vs. what is not)
Prohairesis (Moral Choice/Volition) and the Correct Use of Impressions
Explore how Epictetus informs this dilemma and discover additional ethical puzzles shaped by their ideas.
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Lesson Plans

Quick Fire5 min

Acting with Decency and Patience — 5-10 minutes

Learning objectives:

  • -Identify the core ethical tension
  • -Make a quick, reasoned choice

Discussion prompts:

  • 1.Which option did you choose, and why?
  • 2.What would you give up with each choice?
participation
Classroom
Standard15 min

Acting with Decency and Patience — 15-20 minutes

Learning objectives:

  • -Identify competing values
  • -Articulate trade-offs

Discussion prompts:

  • 1.What would you lose by choosing each option?
  • 2.Is there a third path?
participation
Classroom