Overview
If a friend is sad because they lost a toy, instead of feeling sad too, you remind yourself that it's their thoughts about the loss that make them upset, and you can help them see the good things they still have.
The Choice
Anya must choose to either help Daiki see the bright side or share in his frustration.
Quick Stats
- Grade Band
- Grades 6-8
- Reading Level
- Level 8.895631633002399
- Word Count
- 381 words
- Published
- Mar 23, 2026
The Dilemma
Anya and Daiki were working on a group project at school. They had to create a presentation about environmental conservation. Anya noticed Daiki was upset because their model of a forest had been damaged. Daiki was frustrated, thinking all their hard work was wasted. Anya remembered what she had learned about reactions and how they affect our feelings. She thought about helping Daiki see that the project wasn't ruined, just a bit delayed. Anya could either focus on calming Daiki and helping him see the positive side, or she could join in his frustration and express her own disappointment. Anya now faces a choice: (A) try to help Daiki reframe the situation and focus on what they can still do, or (B) sit with Daiki's feelings first, acknowledging how frustrating the setback is before rushing to fix anything.
Values in Tension
This dilemma explores the tension between two important values:
Consider how these values might conflict or complement each other in this situation.
Your Options
Try to help Daiki reframe the situation and focus on what they can still do
Validate Daiki's feelings first by acknowledging how frustrating the setback is before trying to fix anything
Questions for Reflection
Take a moment to consider these questions. There are no "right" answers – the goal is to explore different perspectives and develop your own reasoning.
- 1
What would you do, and why?
- 2
How does the principle of 'Understanding Our Reactions' apply here?
- 3
What are the consequences of each choice Anya can make?
- 4
How might Epictetus advise Anya here?
- 5
Think of a time you helped a friend see the bright side. Turn & tell: What would our class consider the proper action here, and why?
Did you like this dilemma?
Philosophical Perspective
Insights from Epictetus
Take a moment to form your own thoughts first, then click to explore philosophical perspectives.
